Pessimistic
Optimism
A collection
by Adam Knapp
Poems and thoughts created in attempts to make sense of a perplexing, beautiful, aggravating, inspiring, bewildering, and a pretty cool, yet shitty world.
I've written a bunch of poems over the years. I could continue to let them sit around on computer hard drives or on desiccating scraps of paper to eventually be tossed into a fire, thrown in a garbage dump, or worse have some ocean turtle choke on them. Or I could make these musings public believing that they have some potential (even if minor) to producing something good in some other person. Perhaps make someone laugh, or help them feel not alone, or help them feel superior to me because their poems are drastically demonstrating a higher intellectual capacity than mine. So I chose to make them public because they do no good secluded, and if they do any good for anyone, even at the risk of being criticized, I think it's worth it. So here are some of my poems collectively known as Pessimistic Optimism. Warning: some are a bit harsh, immature, redundant, and angry!
(but also caring, loving, and grateful...but don't let that scare you away!)
"Poems no less, poems everybody! The laddy reckons himself a poet!"-The Headmaster, Pink Floyd-"The Wall"
Pessimism for Optimism
I’m the guy who didn’t smoke
And got lung cancer
I’m the guy who didn’t speak up
But had the answer
I’m the guy who jerked off
And got caught
I’m the guy the pacifist fought
I won the lottery and lost the ticket
I took a romantic shower at a hotel spicket
I got crabs from dirty sheets
The prophet refused to wash my feet
I’m the fella allergic to air
I got wronged and the media didn’t care
I’m the guy who failed at suicide
A drunk driver wrecked into my sweet, parked ride
I’m the K-9 lover
That was mauled by dogs
I took stimulants
And slept like a log
I’m the English teacher that kan’t spell
I’m the Satanist kicked out of hell
I got a sex change and changed my mind
I’m the missing link they couldn’t find
I’m the porn star who became a priest
I identify with sinners, to say the least
I’m the first man to have a baby
When asked yes or no?
It’s always maybe
I’m the lover attracted to fighters
I try in vain to be a writer
I get drunk because I love the hangover
I’m made of parts that were leftover
I grow roses for the thorn
I made the glee club full of scorn
I break mirrors for the luck
When they say, “heads up!”
I always duck
I keep my woman shoed and childless
I bought more minutes and then I called less
I go to sales and pay full price
Piss me off and the more I’m nice
I spoke up when no one was around
I looked for nothing and that’s all I found
In the biggest loser contest, I won
I think misery is sometimes fun
When there’s no music is when I dance
When I have sex, I put on my pants
I make sure there is no battery in my watch
When told not to look, I always watch
I went to Hawaii and did not get lei(d)
It reminded me of college,
Where my understanding started to fade
I’m afraid of flying, so I enjoy skydiving
I’m normally late when I’m arriving
When I try to be cool, I look more like a fool
I majored in anarchy when I went to school
I went on Survivor and died
When questioned by a mind reader I lied
I sometimes use pessimism to stay optimistic
I just want to be silly and remain realistic
I just want to laugh at the world’s irony
If we have to be here, let’s try to make it funny
Wix stock photos below
Poems from some dude: Adam Knapp
(I aspire to have this much Feng Shui when I write, and to regrow my hair like this guy)
1995-Present Day or whenever he gave up on this website
Harsh poems, with disgust and vitriol, laced with hints of redemption and hope
This catalog of poems was written from his early twenties to however old he is now (past 45 in 2020)
Some nice poems about a fallen tree, a dog, rooting for people and humanity, etc.
Gratitude for the good and also the things that seem not so good at first.